Hello and welcome to the Mental Health for Romania podcast! I’m Larisa, a Research Assistant in Psychiatry at King’s College London. In today’s episode, we’ll be talking about the lessons we’ve learned from 2020, mental health, and what we can do to make 2021 a better year.
Before we begin, however, I’d like to make a brief disclaimer. 2020 was a difficult year in which many people lost loved ones far too soon, lost their jobs, or experienced financial hardship. Many of us also had to spend long periods away from the people we care about, had limited social interaction, and missed the simple physical contact we usually take for granted, such as a handshake or a hug. For those living alone, 2020 was even more challenging. We know that all of these experiences can have a negative impact on our mental health. That’s precisely why we’re recording today’s episode: to reflect on the past year and explore practical strategies for looking after our mental health in 2021. That said, we understand that this discussion may bring back difficult memories or cause feelings of sadness or anxiety. So, if you think today’s topic may affect you negatively, we encourage you to skip this episode and join us again for future episodes.
We’ll begin today’s episode with a brief recap, just in case we need one. We will all remember 2020 as the year we witnessed a series of unexpected events. It began with the devastating bushfires in Australia in January 2020, driven by the environmental crisis we are facing. This was followed by the first reports of an unknown virus in Wuhan, China, which many of us listened to without much concern, as though it were something happening far away that didn’t affect us or that we could do nothing about. That was until the World Health Organization declared the outbreak a pandemic, meaning the virus had spread across the globe. From that point on, 2020 took a strange turn, with responsibility suddenly placed in our hands—to stay at home and keep our distance from the people we love in order to protect ourselves and others. This was followed by a brief period of panic, overshadowed by loneliness and a longing for physical contact, social interaction, and what we once called normality. Then, in June 2020, the Black Lives Matter protests took place, sparked by abuses of power and systemic racism. I’m sure many of us reflected on our own actions at that time and considered how we could become better allies in the fight against both implicit and explicit racism. Of course, this was followed by the United States presidential election, which the whole world watched with bated breath.
Between intermittent periods of restrictions and witnessing systemic injustices, I think 2020 was a year that truly tested our mental health. We deserve to congratulate ourselves for making it this far—whether we took up home workouts, baked banana bread, or simply got through the year, we’re still here. It’s 2021.
Given that 2020 forced many of us out of our comfort zones, it’s clear that there are certain lessons we’ve probably learned from the past year. I’d like us to spend a little time reflecting on some of those lessons in today’s episode.
The first lesson from 2020 relating to our mental health is, I think, loneliness. The concept of loneliness is different from that of social isolation. We can feel lonely in a room full of people, just as we can feel connected to others while sitting at home on our own. More specifically, we tend to feel lonely when we’re not satisfied with the quality of our relationships, whereas we feel socially isolated when the amount of social contact we have is limited, as it was for many of us throughout 2020. So, loneliness is about the quality of our relationships, while social isolation is more about their quantity. Despite these differences, loneliness and social isolation often go hand in hand, and social isolation can lead to loneliness, just as loneliness can lead to social isolation. Research has shown that loneliness is, unfortunately, associated with poorer physical and mental health and even an increased risk of premature death. These risks are particularly pronounced for people who experience loneliness over long periods of time, suggesting that, if left unaddressed, loneliness can have a profound negative impact on both our physical and mental wellbeing.
Before the pandemic, research suggested that the prevalence of loneliness ranged anywhere from 6% to 76%, depending on various demographic factors and the country of residence. During the pandemic, however, the impact of loneliness on mental health became a major public health concern. For example, a UK study involving nearly 2,000 participants aged between 18 and 87, conducted between 23 March and 24 April 2020, found that the prevalence of loneliness at that time was 27%. The researchers identified several risk factors, including age, with younger people being more likely to experience loneliness, marital status, with divorced individuals being more susceptible to loneliness, difficulties with emotion regulation, and poorer sleep quality. The protective factors they identified included social support, living with a partner, and living with other adults. The study concluded that loneliness was highly prevalent during the early stages of the pandemic and that the risk factors identified were, unfortunately, not unique to the pandemic itself. This suggests that interventions to reduce loneliness are needed and should be prioritised for young people and for those experiencing mental health difficulties. By improving emotion regulation, strengthening social support, and promoting better sleep quality, we can help reduce the negative impact of both the pandemic and loneliness on our mental health.
Next, we’ll look at two strategies for addressing loneliness. These are two approaches that many of us developed during 2020 and that, for me and for the people around me, proved to be incredibly helpful. So, let’s explore them in a bit more detail. The first lesson from 2020 in tackling loneliness is the value of technology. The people we care about are just a phone call away, whether that’s over the telephone, on Zoom, Microsoft Teams, or any other video-calling platform. You can organise virtual gatherings, catch up over coffee, tea, hot chocolate, or whatever you enjoy drinking. You can play games or take part in all sorts of other activities online. There are options available, and they’re within our control. 2020 showed us just how connected we can be. That said, I’d also like to point out that you shouldn’t feel obliged to accept every virtual invitation simply because you’re at home. Too many online meetings can be just as exhausting as meeting in person—if not more so—especially when we already spend most of our day in front of a screen. So, I’d encourage you to set healthy boundaries while also making the most of the technology we have available. The experience may be a little different from meeting face to face, but it’s still a valuable strategy that we can continue to use now that we’ve all become much more familiar with it.
Another strategy for addressing loneliness that I learned in 2020 is introspection. Looking after ourselves is an important practice. It’s important to learn how to say no without feeling guilty, and it’s equally important to learn to slow down. When we’re comfortable with ourselves, when we learn to recognise our own needs and respond to them, it becomes much easier to spend time on our own. Of course, we’re social beings—there’s no doubt about that—but the ability to spend time alone and genuinely enjoy it is incredibly valuable. After all, the person we’ll spend the most time with throughout our lives is ourselves. We need to become comfortable in our own company and get to know ourselves just as we make the effort to get to know other people. In the spirit of introspection, one helpful practice is to spend five minutes each day sitting quietly on your own and taking the role of an observer. What thoughts are passing through your mind? How are you feeling? Which parts of your body feel tense? Try simply noticing these things without reacting to them. I’d also like to recommend practices such as yoga and mindfulness, both of which can be extremely beneficial.
Another lesson we learned in 2020 is about anxiety. I think it’s fair to say that anxiety was not an unfamiliar feeling during 2020. It may have been anxiety about our own health and the health of those around us, anxiety about our jobs, anxiety about the new format of school or university exams, or anxiety about not being able to see the people we care about. If any of those examples resonate with you, you’re not alone. 2020 took away many of our freedoms and made us realise that there are many things beyond our control. And that’s okay. It can be very difficult to accept at first, but it also taught us to focus on what we can control. That might mean learning a new skill from home or returning to activities we used to enjoy but had neglected because of a lack of time or for other reasons.
Another thing I’d recommend when it comes to anxiety is reconnecting with nature. Although it may sound a little cliché, spending time in nature can help us feel that we’re part of something bigger than ourselves. When certain things are beyond our control, as so many were in 2020, I think it can be helpful to look around us and recognise that nature continues on its course, even if our day-to-day lives look very different from how they once did. The positive effects of nature on our mental health have also been well documented in the scientific literature. For example, one study investigating ecotherapy—a form of therapy that involves spending time in nature—found that it can be beneficial for people experiencing depression and anxiety. This may also be because time spent in nature is often associated with physical activity and social contact, even if, during 2020, that contact had to take place at a distance. Another effective way of managing anxiety is to ground ourselves in the present moment by focusing on our senses—what we can see, smell, hear, touch, and even taste. Nature offers countless opportunities to experience pleasant new scents, to feel the world around us, or simply to enjoy a beautiful view.
Now that we’ve reflected on 2020, briefly recapped the year, discussed its two major themes—loneliness and anxiety—and explored a few ways of addressing them, I’d like us to spend a few moments thinking about how we can apply these lessons to 2021. More specifically, how can we use what we’ve learned from the past year to set goals that are both measurable and flexible for 2021, and how can we build habits that support our wellbeing?
The first thing I’d suggest is choosing a theme for the year. Through conversations with colleagues and friends, I came across the idea of setting a yearly theme as an alternative to making New Year’s resolutions. Your theme could be a single word, a quotation, or even an emotion that you’d like to guide you throughout 2021. You might be wondering why we’d do that. The reason is that it gives us a sense of direction without putting us under pressure, while also offering the flexibility we need in what is still an uncertain year.
If you’d still prefer to set goals for 2021, I’d suggest using the well-known SMART framework, which comes from the field of management, but applying it in a much more flexible and adaptable way for 2021. I think one of the most common intentions at the start of a new year is to become more physically active or exercise more. The SMART framework encourages us to set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound, so that we know exactly what our goal is, how we’ll achieve it, and by when.
The SMART framework is also widely used in personal development because it breaks down a large, abstract goal into smaller, concrete, and clearly defined steps. It’s a useful approach and well worth trying. That said, while it’s always helpful to have structure and a sense of direction, I think last year showed us just how adaptable we can be, and that sometimes even the best-laid plans simply don’t work out. In a year when the effects of 2020 are still being felt so strongly, and when we still don’t have a clear idea of when we’ll be able to return safely to some of the things we enjoy, I think it’s important not to put additional pressure on ourselves. Instead, I’d encourage you to focus on how you feel. Exercise because it makes you feel mentally better. Eat well because it gives you energy. Rest when you’re tired. Listen to your body. If there are days when sitting on the sofa makes you happier than going for a three-kilometre run in the park, I think that’s perfectly okay too. The important thing is to focus on the things that are within our control.
If you’re looking for an inspiring book to start 2021 with, I’d highly recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear. It has become an international bestseller and introduces a number of simple yet powerful ideas about building habits. In particular, developing habits allows us to create routines, imagine what a typical day in our lives looks like, and regain a sense of control over at least some aspects of our daily lives. I think that’s especially important at the moment, when so many things still feel beyond our control. In his book, James Clear suggests that we achieve our goals by cultivating small habits that we practise consistently—what he calls atomic habits, or tiny habits. He also argues that we should make our desired behaviours obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying, because doing so increases the likelihood that we’ll repeat them and eventually turn them into lasting habits. I’ll leave you to discover more if the book interests you, but the main takeaway is that, in 2021, I think it’s important to have a routine—whether loosely or clearly defined—that helps us feel we have as much control over our lives as possible.
Finally, one more important thing I’d like you to take with you into 2021, based on everything we’ve experienced over the past year, is that it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to have days when you don’t feel full of energy. It’s okay to recognise your negative emotions, to notice them, and to let them pass. Negative emotions don’t need to be pushed away, ignored, or hidden. We’re human, and it’s perfectly normal to experience a wide range of emotions. In 2021, remind yourself that it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to stay connected to your emotions, whether they’re positive or negative. Every day is a new opportunity to begin again.
As we come to the end of this episode, I’d like to leave you with one final thought: it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to share your feelings with people you trust. And it’s perfectly normal not to feel amazing all the time. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, if the negative emotions you’re experiencing begin to interfere with your day-to-day life, we warmly encourage you to reach out to a psychologist, psychotherapist, or another qualified mental health professional. It’s okay to ask for help. After all, it’s 2021!
Thank you so much for joining us for today’s episode. We look forward to welcoming you back for our next episode in February. Until then, take care of yourselves and your mental health. Bye for now!
