Cristina Frei: about mental health, social media, and art

Cristina: When I sit down to draw, it has this therapeutic effect, if I can put it that way — it’s relaxing. It’s time spent just with myself. I completely switch off from everything else.

Rodica: Hello and welcome to the Mental Health for Romania podcast! My name is Rodica Afrăsinei and I’m a psychological counsellor, and today we’re joined by Cristina Frei, and we’ll be talking about mental health and social media. Hello, Cristina, and first of all, thank you so much for joining us and for all the work you do online!

Cristina: Thank you so much for having me!

Rodica: To start with, I’d like to ask you to tell us a little more about yourself, so that our listeners can get to know you a little better.

Cristina: I’ll introduce myself again. Hi! I’m Cristina, Cristina Frei, and I’m the mum of a little boy who is one year and three months old. At the same time, I’m a freelance illustrator, and I’ve been doing this full-time for about two or three years now. I started drawing a long time ago, but before that I had a job, and then at some point I decided that it was time to focus solely on what I enjoy doing most. I don’t know if it’s particularly relevant, but I also studied Art and Design in Cluj, and completed a master’s degree in graphic design. At the moment, I’m focused on developing my skills in this field, and I work every day, or as much as I can, as much as time allows. I’m working towards my dream.

Rodica: That was such a lovely way of putting it, and what a great introduction! Thank you! If you were to tell us, in general, or we can go as in-depth as you’d like on this topic, what inspires you in the work that you do?

Cristina: I think I’ve always been inspired by simple, beautiful things that give me a positive energy or evoke beautiful emotions in me. I’m really inspired by simple things, I think, but in general I also draw inspiration from my everyday life, from the wonderful people around me, which makes me feel very lucky. I have a wonderful family, and I think they have a lot to do with my state of mind as well. I draw inspiration from nature, of course, from my emotions, from my everyday life, and I often say that what I draw somehow becomes a kind of visual diary. I mean, instead of writing, I draw. If I’m feeling a certain way, I try to express it through a fairly simple drawing. I usually draw simple lines and simple things.

Rodica: Okay. And although you say they’re simple lines, I personally found your illustrations very appealing and really loved them when I first came across them. They were something new to me, but I was really drawn to them and liked them a lot. And, beyond that, if we go into the part about emotions and mental health that you mentioned, I realised that I also identify with them quite a lot and really like the messages behind them. So I wanted to ask you whether you think the ideas conveyed by your designs resonate with a particular niche of followers?

Cristina: Yes, I think it really comes down to personal taste as well. But I do think I have a certain type of audience that follows me and sees themselves in my illustrations. Obviously, not everyone does. There are people who prefer different kinds of illustrations or who connect with something else, for example, more colourful illustrations. I don’t usually use colour in my drawings. I do sometimes, but that’s usually when I step outside my comfort zone, so to speak. I do like colour, but what I enjoy most is drawing in black and white, with ink and simple lines. I also often like to actually write the message I want to convey directly on the illustration, and there are people who don’t necessarily connect with that. But that’s why I say I think there are certain special people who follow me and see themselves in my work, because I’ve received messages from them as well. As you said just now, they tell me that a particular illustration really speaks to them and represents them, and that makes me very happy. So yes, there is definitely a certain type of audience.

Rodica: Mhm, okay. And if we think about this idea of the messages you convey and how they reach your followers, how do you think this can have an impact on mental health in general, considering the audience you have?

Cristina: In general, I really want to convey beautiful and positive messages that I feel myself, that make me feel better. And somehow, I think that the people who connect with what I do feel, to some extent, what I feel too. For example, I like seeing a quote in the morning — an inspirational quote, as I would call it — and somehow it makes me start the day with a smile on my face. I really like these kinds of things, and they help me because, as I said, I draw the emotions and experiences from my everyday life. Somehow, that gives me the motivation to keep going. I’m going to talk a little bit now about life as a mum, which isn’t easy, but it’s the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. And somehow, even if I was very tired and having a difficult day, when I sat down to draw, I would calm down and relax, and realise how lucky I am and that things will keep moving forward. Even when things are difficult, the infinite love my child gives me makes up for absolutely everything, and that’s where I also get my messages and inspiration from. I’m trying to convey a message that helps me keep going, something that I feel makes my life more beautiful, and I think that’s why the people who follow me connect with it too. At least, that’s how I see it.

Rodica: Mhm, mhm.

Cristina: But in a way, I draw for myself. It’s almost as if some of the messages I convey and the things I draw are just for me. Even though I know that they do, and inevitably will, reach other people too, because I’ve received such lovely feedback about these messages over time.

Rodica: There are quite a few, or at least some, of the messages I’ve seen in your repertoire that really touch on self-care and mental health as a whole, as well as things that we can actually apply to our everyday lives. And, if we were to move on to the topic of social media, where we know you’re active, I noticed that you have a message, or a quote, as you called it: “Slow down, take time for yourself, be present”. How do you think this applies to social media?

Cristina: I’ll tell you a little bit about this illustration that I made at Christmas, when my parents came to stay with us, after quite a difficult period, because

before Christmas I had a lot of work and, somehow, I wasn’t expecting it. As a mum, I hadn’t planned, so to speak, to work that much because I simply didn’t have the time for it. But somehow, I had quite a lot of demand for my work, and I felt overwhelmed, while at the same time being really happy and grateful for it. But I was also very tired. I could only work after I’d put Lucas to bed and, well, instead of resting, I had to work, and I felt this pressure that I had to do it. And that’s why I say my emotions were somehow pulling me in different directions: at the same time, I was happy, I wanted to rest, and I felt like I wasn’t managing to do either. But I got everything done in the end. And at Christmas, when my parents came to stay with us, I was really happy and felt that I needed to take a break, disconnect from everything and just enjoy having them here with us. To enjoy every moment, and somehow to really be present for it completely — body, heart, mind, everything. And I think that’s what taking a break means. And when it comes to social media, at least I’m trying to do this more and more often. I don’t always manage it, but I try to leave my phone somewhere far away and forget about it, and not actually look at my messages and notifications. Now, I tend to relate everything to being a mum, but the same thing happens, for example, when you meet up with a friend and have a coffee together. If you really want to enjoy that moment, I think you have to put your phone away in your bag and not look at it because…

Rodica: On silent.

Cristina…yes, you can’t really be present otherwise. I don’t know, you get an email and think, “I wonder who that’s from?”, or you get a notification or a message and think, “Hang on a minute, I need to reply!”. And somehow, this illustration is about being present in whatever you’re doing, body, heart and mind. Because, unfortunately, I feel that our minds are in a hundred different places all the time. And that’s partly because time flies and there’s so little of it, I think, for everyone. I don’t know, personally, I feel like I never have enough time, and that’s why I think we’re always rushing to do things, to finish things, to do this and that and that as well, and, in fact, instead of enjoying ourselves, we somehow don’t manage to do that. But that’s why I think, and at least I’m trying this now, I’m in a bit of a practice period where I’m making an effort, so, I don’t know, when I’m with Lucas or when I’m watching a TV series, for example, I try to put my phone somewhere away from me and enjoy either the time I’m spending on my own, with myself, or the time I’m spending with Lucas, or… Somehow, I think that’s what we need: quality time, as they call it, where you have to be fully present in that moment, body and soul, and enjoy the beautiful things, the little things in everyday life, and disconnect, I don’t know, for a few minutes to begin with, and then for a few hours. I say this as someone who’s very good at giving advice, but… But I really am trying. I’ve noticed that lately I’ve actually been taking breaks, including from social media but, of course, social media is important to me too. That’s where my projects and collaborations come from, but it’s not the most important thing.

Rodica: Mhm, okay! Thank you, and thank you as well for opening up and sharing that with us! Since you also mentioned how important social media is to you, I noticed, for example, that your Instagram profile has a very aesthetic, beautifully curated feel to it. And I wanted to ask you how you think this might influence the way your followers perceive you — as an artist, as a person, or in any other role you have. And what advice would you give to younger followers from this perspective?

Cristina: I don’t know if I’ve ever really made a conscious effort to make my profile look aesthetic. I think that, more importantly than being aesthetic, it should represent you and, essentially, have things on there that are a true reflection of who you are. That’s what I’ve tried to do — to post things that genuinely represent me. But I’ve never really focused on, for example, making a plan for certain posts and thinking about how one post should look next to another so that everything looks nice. Although that works really well too, and I know other friends who do this and it works just as well for them. It’s just that I simply don’t have the time to do that, to make a plan where, I don’t know, on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I post things in a certain way so that the whole feed looks really nice. I basically post when I have the time and when I feel like I need to post. And I think it’s quite important not to do things just for the sake of it. People connect much more easily with a profile that feels real, if I can put it that way, one that reflects as many genuine things about you as possible, rather than, I don’t know, having a profile that just looks beautiful and nothing more. There should be things on there through which you express your opinions and, well, your drawings, your portfolio, so to speak, and I try to combine the two. But I’d like it to be more about illustration than my personal life, if that makes sense. I do share both, of course, but in general I try to have a little more illustration content.

Rodica: And based on your experience, do you think that people, or at least the people who follow you,

because they’re the ones you actually interact with, can have an objective perception of the things you post? I’m asking this in relation to how you try to balance the personal side with the content you share there.

Cristina: Yes, I mean, I don’t know, I really connect with the people who follow me on Instagram, for example, and I feel that we connect quite well. Sometimes they even send me direct messages, especially in response to my stories, because you tend to get a slightly more personal message there. But they also comment on my posts, and, yes, I don’t know. I feel that people connect quite well with what I do and what I post, whether it’s drawings or posts about my personal life. But, of course, something about my personal life will almost always have a greater impact than an illustration or a drawing, because, I don’t know, that’s just how we are. I think other people’s lives are more interesting to us than the drawing itself, even though a drawing can also represent a lot of things. But I think we’re all drawn to, as I said, other people’s lives, to each other’s lives.

Rodica: Okay. If you think about your whole experience with social media, what can you tell us about its influence on young people in general?

Cristina: I think this is a very broad topic, with so many different opinions and perspectives. I don’t even know exactly where to start, but there are definitely a lot of negative influences as well as positive ones. And somehow I think… I’ll talk about the positive side, because I find that a little easier. I think, for example, I can see it in my own experience, that, I don’t know, as a teenager or a young person, you can really develop…

your passion and what you do here on Instagram, and reach projects and collaborations much more quickly through social media than you could a few years ago, when you had to have a portfolio on a particular platform. Not everyone knew about that platform, not everyone had the patience to search through websites and so on. And now it seems to me that things are easier through social media. It’s easier to actually build a mini portfolio or put together some initial pieces of work so that people can discover you, and that applies regardless of your passion, whether it’s drawing or photography or, I don’t know, poetry, or absolutely anything. I think that here you can…

reach people much more quickly than you could before, and that’s one of the positive aspects. As for the negative side, hmm, I think there are quite a few. But I think one of the biggest ones, or I don’t know exactly how to put it, is that sometimes we can be very easily fooled by what we see, and it can be very difficult to filter what we’re seeing, precisely because we’re captivated by these perfect images. And, I don’t know, I’m speaking from my own experience here, because I also have a tendency to feel overwhelmed by what I see and by all these perfect things, because at the end of the day, that’s how they’re made to look on Instagram. But in reality, they’re not like that. I genuinely don’t think that anything is perfect in this world, and I think that’s one of the negative influences: you see something that looks amazing and seems perfect, and you think, “I want that too”, “I want to be like that”, and, I don’t know, you can end up being a little misled and influenced by things that aren’t actually exactly as they appear. But that’s why I say I think it’s a very broad and complex topic, and clearly there are negative aspects as well. At the same time, though, I’ll repeat that there are also so many positive things. And not just because you can build your portfolio, but you can make connections, you can ask people questions much more easily, ask for advice. I don’t know, there are so many things you can do through social media. And, well, when you have a question, there are now stories that you can reply to, you can message someone you follow directly if you want to find out something specific. So there are definitely lots of aspects, both positive and negative. I personally try to filter the information, but sometimes I find that difficult. You can do that through the people you choose to follow, or block or unfollow when you feel that they’re not good for you anymore. So, yes, I think that, well, as with anything, of course, there are both positive and negative things. But it would be good to focus on the positive ones.

Rodica: Alright. You mentioned at the beginning that you went through a bit of a career change, that you had a job before and then shifted your focus towards design and art, and I wanted to ask you what effect art has had, and continues to have, on your mental health?

Cristina: I think it’s had the most wonderful effect. I mean, apart from my baby, because he actually has the most wonderful effect on me, but art and drawing in themselves have always been not just a passion for me, but also a way of relaxing. I’ve felt that way since secondary school. I went to an art school in Baia Mare, and just a week ago I was in Baia Mare and visited the Village Museum, only this time with my family. And I remembered that exactly 10 years ago, when the weather was warm and lovely, we used to have our drawing classes there, and it was wonderful. I remember those classes and the time I spent there so fondly. We would take our drawing boards, paper and pencils and go to the Village Museum, and everyone would sit wherever they wanted and try to draw one of the little houses, and it was really lovely and relaxing. And, I don’t know, somehow you would clear your mind and just stay there in that moment. And I still get that feeling now, because when I sit down to draw, I completely disconnect from everything and, I don’t know, it’s like I don’t even know what planet I’m on… I feel like I’m being transported to another planet and I just focus on that. And, yes, it has this kind of therapeutic effect, if I can call it that — it’s relaxing. It’s time spent just with myself, and it’s something I really need, especially at this stage of my life, when I don’t really have much time to focus solely on myself. So those few minutes are very precious because, I don’t know… For example, back in secondary school, our drawing class was… I mean, each session was about four to six hours of drawing a day. When we had those classes, it was really lovely to spend so many hours there just drawing. I don’t have that many hours anymore, of course, but if I get an hour just for myself, it’s incredibly precious and, yes, it has a wonderful effect.

Rodica: I’m really glad you’ve had these experiences. It’s something

I think many of us could benefit from incorporating into our lives.

Cristina: Yes.

Rodica: And since we’ve reached the topic of mental health, and because you also mentioned the boundaries you set earlier, I’d like to wrap up with some practical advice from your own experience — specifically, the boundaries you can set between work, social media, how much of ourselves we put online in order to promote our work, and this whole area of family life, personal time, and time with the people close to us. How do you manage to do that, beyond what you’ve already told us?

Cristina: I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever been the kind of person who, I don’t know, tells everyone everything that’s on my mind. And I think that, at one point, I was also a little more closed off, or, I don’t know, I think so. But somehow, I like to share only the good things I feel and the positive energy I have with other people. And the more intimate and personal things, or my more negative emotions, or the days when I’m not doing so well, I tend to keep to myself, and we deal with those things here, between ourselves, in our little home. And we get through them together, as a family. And I think that helps us, both as a family and… I’ve never really felt the need to share those things, to put that kind of energy out there, and I don’t necessarily think that anyone needs to hear about my problems. Because I think everyone has problems in their everyday lives, different emotions, and bad days, and so I want to, I don’t know, bring a smile to people’s faces, even if that sounds very cliché. But somehow, that’s what I want to do. I like sharing things, not just on social media, but in general, with the people around me. I like sharing and giving them beautiful things, things that make me feel good. And, as far as my personal life goes, what I post on Instagram is also mostly happy things. And, as I said a few minutes ago, I still try to have more content about my work and illustration, even though I don’t always manage to, because I love Lucas so much and I feel like taking pictures of him and posting him all the time. But when it comes to posting, Cosmin, my husband, also helps me with this. He’s never really been comfortable with me posting lots of pictures of Lucas or sharing everything that happens at home. And sometimes he even tells me off when, I don’t know, I post a story of Lucas doing something, and he’ll say, “Oh, so-and-so called me and already knew we were wherever…” And somehow, he helps me with this too, in a good way. And I completely understand his perspective. So, yes… I try to keep a balance. Sometimes I can’t help myself and end up posting perhaps too much of Lucas on certain days, but I try as much as I can to keep my Instagram page, I don’t know, about 70% illustration and 30% personal life. I don’t know how well I manage that, but that’s the goal. It’s just hard when you have such a cute little munchkin and you have to stop yourself from taking pictures of him all the time.

Rodica: Okay, I understand, and thank you once again for sharing all of this with us! Is there anything else you’d like to say to our listeners?

Cristina: Hmm, well, I think I’d encourage them to spend more time with themselves and to try this exercise of… of disconnecting. Because, I don’t know, when I look at myself, I realise how beneficial it is for me to put my phone away. Because, really, everything happens on that phone. You’re on it constantly, and it’s difficult to focus on just one thing when you have it in front of you all day long. And somehow, I don’t manage to do this very often either. But over the last few days, I’ve put it away as much as I could, and I realised just how much happier it makes me, and how much more I appreciate the moment I’m in than I would if I had my phone next to me. Or, I don’t know, I can give the example of Lucas again. I love seeing him laugh when he sees a bus. He’s been getting so excited whenever he sees buses lately. And somehow, when I’m not glued to my phone, I get to enjoy his laughter and his little moments of happiness so much more. And I was actually talking to Cosmin about this the other day, about how beautiful it is to see him get so excited about such simple things that seem completely ordinary to us. But, as they say, babies live very much in the present and enjoy every moment. I think that’s exactly what I should learn from him, and that’s what I’m doing: learning to enjoy things. Because when we disconnect and actually live in the present, I genuinely feel like my mind becomes clearer and my heart feels fuller at the same time. And, I don’t know, you become filled with positive energy, and it gives you the strength to get through the rest of the day. Or if you’ve been tired or something, these little breaks, being present in that beautiful moment with your little one, or with your friend, or with anyone, or just with yourself, somehow recharge you in such a lovely way. And… that’s about it.

Rodica: Thank you, Cristina, for all your answers and for the beautiful thoughts you shared at the end!

Cristina: Thank you so much, and have a wonderful day!

Rodica: Thank you for listening, and we’ll see you in the next episode! Until next time,

take care of yourselves and your mental health!